Friday, June 29, 2012

Demons in My Head #3: Step into My Mind

Step into My Mind

Ready to walk in? Last chance to back out!

To get an idea of who I am, let me begin with where I am coming from:

My parents have eight children. My two eldest brothers (twins) were both born with severe developmental disabilities and died in separate housefires spaced 22 years apart. Both times, my family lost almost everything. I first discussed most of this in a really long post that is now resting comfortably in the back end of this blog - aka - limbo. Perhaps at a later point in time, I'll bring it back. I'm not mentioning any of this to tug on the heart strings. The point is:

I don't care about material things; I care about people.

Do I have goals? Absolutely. Are there things I would like to own? A Bosendorfer piano, for one. That said, I recognize that I can lose everything - including my own life - in the blink of an eye. The day I stood in the emergency room (February 27, 2002) looking at the mortal shell that once held my brother - a brother I had cared for my entire life - the idea of having my own place with my own things away from my immediate family suddenly seemed empty. Spending my life doing work I couldn't stand to make those things happen suddenly didn't seem like a viable long-term solution to me.

The people in my life became more important than anything... and frankly, if I was doomed to be miserable and frustrated, it may as well be focused in a direction of my choosing, regardless of whether it was "socially acceptable" or lucrative.

Yes... I caught hell for it, too. There were people who apparently had no qualms about telling me to my face that I was being selfish, immature, irresponsible, and a disappointment to my family. I'd be lying if I said that it didn't sting. Heck... for years, I refused to even have a conversation about what I did, as if I should be somehow ashamed of being a musician.

And go figure, I've been doing it my entire life.

My viewpoint has evolved somewhat over the years, but that base feeling is still the same. I'm not driven by status, but what will ultimately help the people in my life.

I am closer to my family than ever and I recognize how that can be intimidating in its own way. By the same token, they have been extremely supportive of me. They have made investments and sacrifices so I can even have a chance of pursuing a music career. In my life, they come before me, but not at the cost of everything they have helped me to build. And yes, they have been there to catch me through every bumbleheaded mistake I made.

I owe it to them to do what I have been trying to make happen my entire life and let no one devalue it.

And so... Life goes on.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Demons in My Head #2: Demons in My Head?!

Demons in My Head?

So... what's the deal with the title?

As part of my refocus, I am organizing the blog posts into certain groups. (Hey... it's organized in my mind, anyway, which is the one that counts!) I see this particular series here as most closely representing what thoughts - good, bad, or otherwise - are running  through my mind. If you want to get a sense of me as a person, this is where you begin.

Demons... really?

No, I'm not possessed by some evil ungodly entity whose sole purpose is to torment me and dissuade me from the path of holy righteousness. Well... at least I don't think I am... I will acknowledge, however, a certain degree of eccentricity for which it could be mistaken along those lines. Okay... I'm delusional. Why? "Reality" sucks and I'd much rather deal with an ideal dream-like world. That is beside the point, I suppose.

I knew it... you ARE crazy.

Uh... YEAH. Haven't you been paying attention to anything I said thus far? 

"Demons in My Head" is the name of the twelfth track of my debut album Reflections in Black and White. That tune started off with a two-measure earworm that just refused to be written. Sure, I knew what it was and the harmony beneath it, but I just couldn't figure out where it was going after that. It gave me fits when I was writing it and then gave me even more fits when I changed my mind in the studio. Hell... it still gives me fits!

Figuring out where this blog was going actually induced so similar an effect that I had actually toyed with renaming it along those lines. I ultimately decided against it for the same reason I decided against it for my album. "Demons in My Head" may be apart of the process, but it does not describe the overall concept of what this blog is supposed to be. 

Random Musical Digression is going to criss-cross music over all sorts of different areas. Stay along for the ride and you might figure out where I'm going. "Demons in My Head", however, will focus primarily on that neurotic battlefield raging inside of my skull.

Ready to step in?


Reminder: For a monthly rundown of my blog posts and updates about my music and career, make sure you subscribe to my email list!

Monday, June 25, 2012

Demons in My Head #1: A Reintroduction of Sorts

A Reintroduction of Sorts:

If you have checked out this blog before, you'll notice that it is somewhat lighter. I went and "unpublished" the previous posts. They're sitting in the back end, returned to limbo until I figure out how - or if - to reincorporate the content onto this blog.

Over the course of the past three years, I've tried several different tactics and techniques of blogging to varying degrees of nonsuccess. (When I'm trying something out for the first time, I often like to try things several different ways until I figure out the best way for it to work.) This time, I just thought it best to retool my approach altogether and try to use the best of my previous ideas. Smaller entries, less digressing, and a more regular posting schedule. In fact, I am actually writing my entries in clusters with a footnote of when to actually post it.

I do, however, reserve the right to occasionally post something expository...

So, what brought on this change? No one incident in particular. You could call it a combination of things or just a simple desire to see efforts bear fruit. In any case, I certainly encourage you to follow along and respond here or perhaps on my various social media platforms on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Google+. While I will use all of them to send out updates, be aware that all of them have various filters and algorithms that may very keep you from seeing the post.

I love you, but I'm not coughing up money to Mark Zuckerberg so more than 16% of my friends and Likes might see my post. (Come on... Would you do that?) The best way to find out and stay informed about what I'm up to is to subscribe to my monthly mailing list. I've got a major project I'm cooking up and plan to offer rewards/contests as a part of it. (So... if you take a look on the right side, you should see a link for my mailing list!)

Did I mention that I have an album for sale?

All the best,